Bonjour, if you’ve clicked this it is either that you care about someone who is being quiet, or you are the one being quiet. Chances are you really do care about his person, but the most likely reason that this person is quiet even around you is that you’re ok with ‘her’ being quiet. This is scenario based, so it’s not to say that it wouldn’t be a boy rather than a girl.
Ok, so. Let’s go on the basis, that a quiet person is most likely depressed. We are not talking about weather the person is an extrovert or an introvert. I’m talking about if she holds vitality, happy, living with a pulse in your presence.
In the scenarios that this person is depressed, and you by some default are ok with it, it points to the idea that your relationships are not healthy. Any relationship, child and parent, spouse and spouse, best of friends. If she is depressed, and you are not, something sad that happened impacted only one of you. And you either ignore that thing, or choose to dismiss that thing. Either way, you chose one some level to leave her to deal with it alone. How is it a relationship if she is left to deal with something alone? That is imbalance.
That sounds mean, don’t click away ok? I’m not trying to blame you really. We all have our own lives to live and, one must carry their own weight. You shouldn’t feel responsible for someone else’s, life is too busy for that. Unless it’s not, unless it really is your responsibility, unless you really did make a commitment. And if it was, than what bothers you may not be that she’s quiet, but that the underlying factor in her being such is a trigger for you.
There are two ways of handling something, one is to implode, one is to explode. One is self destructive but more polite, more considerate of that which is near by. The other is impeding and enfusing whatever is divisive within into all that surrounds. So if a person explodes, it is the saying that hurt people hurt people. Whereas, imploding contains the pain so it to only harms inside and shows no effect outside. Like whoa, that thing is empty inside? Maybe she’s moving on, maybe it’s cleaning up, hope it’s ok. Not, call the insurance company! We need help ASAP. Get her to the church!
It doesn’t only irritate you that she shows herself to be decent and considerate as to not pass on her trauma to you. You don’t relate to that process of containing. But that in her trying to manage herself, you are left the options to care or to ignore, to be aware or to live fake, to address or to misunderstand. It is not a relationship if you choose the route of her doing things alone.
So then the next time you both are out, and she says little or smiles barely, and someone else sees the unsaid. You just say that she’s quiet. Putting the label on her that ripples the storyline of upbringing when she was left to live through pain alone.